So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 NLT
God didn’t set us up for an angry rejection but for salvation by our Master, Jesus Christ. He died for us, a death that triggered life. Whether we’re awake with the living or asleep with the dead, we’re alive with him! So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 MSG
Brothers and sisters
Spread hope and love instead of hate and loath amongst one another. Encourage each other as Christ has with us. Build one another up in goodness, well-being and morality. Be a blessing to others rather than devastating and being desolate. Some of you may already be doing this but if you’re not I encourage you to put others first and feel how they feel and do this. If you are already doing it keep doing it. Doing this will build hope for others and character for you. Christ wouldn’t tear others down nor would he want us to either. He says do unto others as you would want done to you. So do out of love not hate and devastation. For love is the greatest of all commands we’re given and it helps others feel good about themselves. Respect one another. “So for example, when someone in authority says “If you don’t respect me, I won’t respect you.” What they’re actually saying (and justifying) is “If you don’t respect me as an authority, I won’t respect you as a human being.” “But just like respect for authority is not the same as respect as a human being, the power to do what fulfills you is not the same as power over someone else.” Show honor to one another to build one another’s esteem.
“The word respect comes from the Latin word “respectus” meaning attention, regard or consideration. It can be defined as “esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability“.
“It is a concept that refers to the ability to value and honor another person, both his or her words and actions, even if we do not approve or share everything he or she does. It is accepting the other person and not trying to change them. Respecting another person is not judging them by their attitudes, behaviors or thoughts. It is not expecting for someone to be otherwise.”
“Our differences are positive because it creates our identity. This means that individual differences exist, but above all to understand that as members of a society we are equal. All people are due respect for the simple fact of being people. Equality is in balance. That is why it is very important to teach children from an early age the value of it. The best way to teach respect is to become a role model for our children.”
“If we don’t respect others, they will not respect us, and if we don’t respect ourselves we will not be respected by others either.
It is essential to feel safe, to be able to express ourselves without fear of being judged, humiliated or discriminated against.
Being respectful of others, being respected and respecting ourselves increases our self-esteem, self-efficacy, mental health, and well-being.”
“There are many types, the most important of which are: self-respect, for others, for social norms, for nature, for values, for laws and norms, for culture and for the family.
It is learning to tolerate, not discriminate and avoid actions that may offend others. Some examples of consideration in everyday life are: greeting or speaking to others in a kind and respectful way, giving up your seat in public places, treating others as you would like them to treat you, etc.
• For self: This kind refers to the ability to respect oneself, to value and appreciate oneself. Accepting oneself regardless of what others think.
• For others: This kind refers to the act of tolerating accepting and considering another person, even though there may be differences between them, or between the way they think. Some examples would be; respect for parents, men and women equally, teachers, older people, other’s religious beliefs, respect for people of different sexual orientation.” Just because we are different in lifestyles and beliefs we are all one in humanity.
• For social norms: This kind refers to the ability to respect all the norms that govern society. Some examples of this type of respect would be: respect for courtesy rules, working hours, other people’s belongings, letting them speak and listen, respecting others opinions.
• For nature: This kind refers to the appreciation of the environment (animals, plants, rivers, etc.). Some examples of this type of respect would be; not throwing garbage in rivers, forests, or fields, not tearing up plants or mistreating nature, not wasting water, not harming animals or insects, recycling, using environmentally friendly means of transport, etc.
• For the family: This kind implies being able to understand and respect each other within the family, and implies being able to follow a set of rules of coexistence.
• For values: This kind refers to the ability to honor our own principles.
• For culture: This type of value refers to the ability to recognize that there are other beliefs and be able to respect them. Some example of this kind of respect would be; not trying to impose our beliefs on others, avoid making judgments about the opinions of others, etc.
• For national symbols: This kind refers to the ability to value and appreciate the symbols of a nation. For example, the anthem or the flag.
• For human beings: This type refers to the ability to comply with legal norms, respect laws, etc.
All respect begins with love and acceptance. All love and acceptance begins with acceptance of yourself so that you learn how to accept others.
“Set limits
When teaching respect, it is important to set limits on what is right and wrong for children. When they behave disrespectfully, point out the behavior, calmly, without shouting, as we have mentioned before. However, if there is a lot of emotional activation, if the child is very upset, it is better to wait for him to calm down, or even help him to do so.
Apologize when you’re wrong.
When you’re wrong, you don’t keep your promise or you’re too hard on your child, it’s important to apologize to them. Not only will we convey humility and the importance of asking for forgiveness, but we will also teach them respect.”
“Treat others the way you want to be treated
It’s a pretty cliché phrase, but it’s true. If you want to be respected, start by respecting others. People tend to be reciprocal.”
“Respect yourself
If others see that you have this, they will also consider and appreciate you and your needs. Consider yourself a priority.”
“Speak positively
Even if you do not behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, do not underestimate yourself, or play down.
Surround yourself with the right people
Some people are just always disrespectful and no matter what we do they will always disrespect others. These people we should keep further away from us as possible. If you can’t keep them away then learn to ignore their comments.
Defend yourself against disrespect
If they disrespect you or don’t take you seriously, defend yourself. Don’t allow it. Don’t attack or respond in the same way either. With a “What you said has hurt me”, “That comment was inappropriate” or “I won’t allow you to speak to me like that”, these phrases will help for this behavior not to repeat again.
Boost your self-esteem
Many times we are not respected because we don’t consider ourselves worthy of it. This may be conscious or unconscious. Even if we rationally know that we do deserve respect, sometimes unconsciously we don’t end up believing it. That is why it’s important to work on your self-esteem.
Develop assertiveness
Assertiveness is a way of defending our rights while respecting those of others. By being assertive, we will avoid others taking advantage of us, besides increasing our self-esteem. To do this, it is important to learn to say no when something doesn’t feel right or doesn’t suit you.”
“What to do with lack of respect?
Do you feel that others don’t respect you and take advantage of you? Here are a few tips to help you overcome disrespect.
• Value your educational trajectory or other forms of education that you have had. If you are not fortunate enough to have a formal education, value your life experience and life skills.
• Honor your body and listen to it. Take care of it without forcing it, do physical exercise and eat properly.
• Listen to yourself, attend to your needs, whether they are a need for rest, disconnection or fun.
• Learn to communicate assertively, as mentioned above.
• Stay away from people who don’t do you any good and from toxic relationships.
• Find out what your goals and objectives are in life and work to achieve them.”
“How do we respect others?
1. Listening to the other person.
2. Being empathetic, understanding each other and putting ourselves in their shoes.
3. Using assertive communication, that is, defending our rights while respecting the rights of others, in an educated and non-aggressive manner.
4. Keep in mind that our approaches, ideas, and opinions may differ from other people and none is wrong. No one has the absolute truth.
5. Apologizing to each other when we make mistakes.
6. Keeping other people’s secrets.
7. Complying with and respecting laws and regulations
8. Taking care of the common spaces and the environment.
9. Interest in others, their everyday life and how they feel.
10. Respecting the privacy and intimacy of others.
11. Respecting others spaces and belongings, not to invade or use what is not ours without permission.
12. Respect personal space.
13. Make sure we include rather than exclude others.
14. Helping others when it is in our power to do so.
15. Being grateful.”
“From Dictionary.com, these are definitions 3, 4, and 5 of Respect for our purposes:
3. esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability:
ex. I have great respect for her judgment.
4. deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment:
ex. respect for a suspect’s right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.
5. the condition of being esteemed or honored:
ex. to be held in respect.
I utterly despise the phrase sometimes shoved in our faces:
“Respect is (always) earned, never given.”
“Respect is (always) earned. I can understand earned respect; it is the use of the absolute, always, that I do not agree with. Sometimes “always” is not used. Still, something about the idea of “earnable/losable” bugs me; basic respect must still be there, regardless of earned/lost.”
“And you probably thought there was only one type. I did initially.
Thank you very much to my Facebook friends who chimed in giving me their requested feedback for this article. Very interesting!
I need to make one point very clear, it does not matter what one “thinks” about this subject.
“I think respect is…”
What you think, what I think, does not matter since our thinking is based mostly from experience and training. Please approach this article with a willingness to learn, I did as I researched it and learned more than I thought I would.
From Dictionary.com, these are definitions 3, 4, and 5 of Respect for our purposes:
3. esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability:
ex. I have great respect for her judgment.
4. deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment:
ex. respect for a suspect’s right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.
5. the condition of being esteemed or honored:
ex. to be held in respect.
I utterly despise the phrase sometimes shoved in our faces:
“Respect is (always) earned, never given.”
My response:
“WRONG!”
But why?
Swimming around in my mind for some time now is the theory that some may confuse trust and respect. My thinking was along the lines of: respect is given and trust is earned. I thought it may be a possibility just as some misconstrue sex and love. I was also trying to identify the likelihood of there being three different types of respect, but I just could not nail it down nor did I have the time to begin the research. More on this in a moment, back to the phrase I dislike so much.
Respect is (always) earned. I can understand earned respect; it is the use of the absolute, always, that I do not agree with. Sometimes “always” is not used. Still, something about the idea of “earnable/losable” bugs me; basic respect must still be there, regardless of earned/lost.
Never given. This part of the statement is another absolute. It is the portion of the phrase that gives me difficulty because its application is so broad and, like an infection, can spread and destroy. The destruction is of relationships, organizations, and, ultimately, a country.
Why is respect never given? What good reason could there be for it? That reason does not exist, in a sense, as we shall see.
What we now know so far:
If
“Respect is (always) earned”
Then
Some sort of action must take place, which means it is impossible for perfect strangers, upon meeting, to “earn” each other’s re
The Three Types of Respect
Dr. Steven Ater to the rescue. He wrote about The Three Types of Respect here. I’ve provided my take on the first two types.
1. The Respect of Personhood
• Definition: each person, who was made in the image of God, has innate worth
• Example: Matthew 7:12 is the quote from scripture that is most often described as the Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. There is also Romans 12:10, Philippians 2:3, Titus 2:7, and 1 Peter 2:17, just to name a few verses out of many that speak of respect for people, regardless of how you feel about them.
2. The Respect of Authority
• Definition: those in supervisory roles, law enforcement, and government are given position-based respect.
• Example: In chapter 13 of the book of Romans, the apostle Paul wrote about respect for authority. Ephesians 6:6-9, and 1 Thessalonians 5:12-18 also address respect for authority with the consequences being spelled out in 2 Timothy 3:1-9.
3. The Respect of Honor
• Definition and Example: “When we grant someone the Respect of Honor we are recognizing their excellence in some quality or qualities and tend to defer to them within these areas of excellence (but not generally outside those areas of excellence). Respect of Honor involves a great deal of trust and much hurt can be done if they abuse that trust.” –Dr. Ater
Offered or Earned?
Now that we have a definition that gives us the three types of respect, let’s delve in further to see what can be earned and lost.
1. The Respect of Personhood
• Should be given, no matter what you feel or think
• This type is “earned” by being born and it cannot be lost. Having said that, it is a type that can only be given. This is where selfishness plays a big part. Due to selfishness, this type of respect, for some, is rarely given.
• This includes parents which extends to everyone who is one’s elder. Of the Ten Commandments, number five is the only one to include a result of following that rule: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
2. The Respect of Authority
• Should be given, no matter what you feel or think
• This type is “earned” by appointment to a position and, just like the Respect of Personhood, selfishness again rears its ugly head. Again, due to selfishness, this type of respect, for some, is rarely given
3. The Respect of Honor
• This is the only type of respect that is earned and lost.
This brings up a very good question:
Is disrespect tantamount to not showing respect?
Another definition from Dictionary.com, this time for the word, Disrespect.
Noun
Lack of respect; discourtesy; rudeness.
Verb (used with object)
to regard or treat without respect; regard or treat with contempt or rudeness.Researching “disrespect and not showing respect”,
“The following words came up to help give a more rich understanding of what disrespect and not showing respect might be:
• Scorn, noun, a feeling that someone or something is not good enough to deserve your approval or respect
• Disdain, noun, the feeling that someone or something is not important and does not deserve any respect
• Contempt, noun, a failure to show appropriate respect for something that other people consider to be important
• Disregard, noun, the attitude of someone who does not respect something or consider it important
• Contemptuous, adjective, showing that you do not respect someone or something at all
• Derogatory, adjective, showing that you have a bad opinion of something or someone, usually in an insulting way
• Derisive, adjective, showing that you think someone or something is stupid, unimportant, or useless
• familiarity breeds contempt, used for saying that you can stop respecting someone or something when you know them very well”
Love and respect are the biggest thing to give for acceptance and honor. Be good and kind to one another in love. Void out hate for one can’t respect or love if one hates. Honor the words acceptance and respect remember it’s how you’d want to be treated within your journey’s.
Encouragement And Growth
Living Water Ministries 